Being a Creative Person is Weird…

I’m tired. In so many ways, however i’m not unhappy. Life isn’t too bad at the moment! The sun is shining, I’m hoping the rain clouds leave me alone, because when it rains it pores and it’s never sunny for long enough is it?!

I’ve been working on a few bits lately, my usual self portrait project of course. But I’ve also had location shoots! Paid work! It’s great to be out shooting again, I was really nervous about it all, but the shoots I’ve had have all be super great! I have many more booked in, it’s nice to be back! Positive. Also I’ve had amazing feedback, I don’t no way I was so anxious about them!

However this blog isn’t about that, this blog isn’t about the shinning sun, or warmth I feel when i’m outside. I share a lot in these blogs, my dreams, my nightmares, personal struggles and losses. Why?

Artists are storytellers, whether we are telling our own story’s or passing one on that we have borrowed, we use our images and words to inspire and to provoke an emotional response. I don’t want to ‘fit in’, but I don’t necessarily want to ‘stand out’ either. I just want to make people feel while working through my own creative impulses... I also generally believe that some of us have to experience more to help others through hard times.

So here is what I’ve been up to and why!

As Heavy as a Feather

I had a sulky day, I got disappointed about something I didn't even need to be disappointed about (Maybe i'll share more about this at a different time!) My inner grumpy teenager was strong in these... I was frustrated, I'm trying harder to chill and let go! This was fun to shoot, I used my normal lighting set up, and dark background. I'm planning on changing my set up soon, I've had this forever now!

Powerful and Powerless

My mood have been slightly up and down! I shot this in a good mood! However once again I feel like a contradiction. I have an inner conflict of emotions, I want to feel in control of every detail of my life, but I also believe in fate “what will be will be”... I feel powerful and powerless at the same time! However as images go I think this is my favourite! I like throwing feathers... also I like using my props a good artist friend of mine made the halo, so was nice to get a shot using it! We should all have photos of ourselves that we like, that make us feel good.

Hurt, Acknowledgement and Strength

I always think I'm doing better mentally then I look at my work, the funny thing is that these all have positive meanings in a way, yes they are dark and moody. I'm expressing upset in some of them, but i'm also expressing acknowledgement and strength. My work is not a cry for help, or a need for attention, my work is just a projection of my feelings and if I didn't get them out like this they would stay trapped inside my head fighting each other for space.

These were all great fun todo! Like most of my studio work my setting were- ISO 100, shutter 200 with my Aperture around 13. I love photoshop, so editing these was great fun! I leant how to photoshop an image onto crumpled up paper in the last image, which was enjoyable to do, I love that i'm always learning through my art!