Dream Catching...

Just a quick one! I’ve been busy creating (again) it’s like therapy to me! So here is a quick blog post. I keep tell myself the next blog will be nicer and more positive with bright images then.... these happen. I mean it’s me, it’s my art I can’t change who I am and I’ve tried it’s doesn’t work! So I’m rolling with it being my authentic self however weird that is.

I want to give an insight some of my darkest images, all my images at the moment are a little dark I really want to get back to my ‘Growth’ project but it’s not in me at the moment which is frustrating, but at the age of 30 I know myself well enough not to force anything creative or il just end up disappointed. Creativeness works better when an idea or feeling is organic. And at this moment in time I’m feeling dark and moody...

I don’t dream, I just have nightmares. Ok maybe I’m being a little dramatic, But some nights I literally close my eyes and plummet into a world of torment. I know this happens to the best of us! I should point out any art is more darker then I am in person, I'm really not all doom and loom... I laugh a lot and enjoy my life!


Bad Dreams...

I had a dream last night, well night mare! In fact it was about the forth one I'd had that night when they start they just don't stop but this one stuck out more because It was really disturbing even by my standards. I was in a dark room (my childhood bed room, I knew this because I was in my old bunk beds) I was woken up and heard someone come into my room they held me down and push their fist into my mouth, down my throat and into my stomach (I know that’s not physically possible). I couldn’t breathe or call for help. It wasn’t a great dream and I’ve felt a little off all day but it inspired this so something positive right! Someone once asked me why I liked to make 'scary' images of my dreams, my answer, why not? They are mine and I may as well turn them into something! I wasn’t sure how to capture them! Also I can jump really high. Anyway it was fun! Also not even the worse dream I’ve had this week, we ALL have bad dreams, I just talk about mine…

Death Feels...

While we are on dark and moody subjects... I did these when I was having a bad day. I had some life hiccups lately again like we ALL do! I know this, everyone has their own challenges. Most people just get on with theirs and I make strange art from mine. I felt ill, pail and weak, but why waste that? I looked like death so I became my own vision of death. I used a skull prop to photoshop my face and a £3 mirror for these images. the inspiration behind then was I had spent a long time trying to hide from my problems. BUT they always find a way to mess your day up (and sleep in my case). You can't pretend they don't exists, you just have to find away to live with them, but it's unfair because like most people my problems were given to me, like the worst gift ever. Sometimes I forget I have any problems then I see my face, we don’t always like what we see in our reflections, sometimes the person looking back is unkind. It’s important to try and be kind to yourself especially on the days you feel like death...

Pieces

These were inspired by #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek and the feeling of just being so emotionally and physically exhausted. A feeling i'm honestly sick of, but it never lasts forever! We all just need to keep going! It’s also so important to be yourself, trying to be something or someone you’re not will just end up in you feeling like your pieces don’t fit and lead to self destructive thoughts. Everyone deserves to be themselves, life is too short to worry about what other people think! Find a way to be happy even if it’s scary, scary can be good and exciting!

I have so many different complex emotions but It’s really interesting, you let yourself feel and than BANG you get them all at once...

Safe

I think it's important to always find a way to be positive and grateful... I don’t know how I managed to convince my husband to get his back out for this. He’s amazing in so many ways, and acts just how a man should. Also not many people marry their best friend they made at the age of 11! I wasn't always that nice to him, in fact I was hard work and he was always just so sweet. The best decision I ever made was letting my guard down and letting myself slowly fall in love with him. (And now I treat him much nicer)

We grew up together but we also grew together he definitely made me into the person that I am, I don’t know how he puts up with me sometimes, I'm lucky to have him and I make sure I tell him I understand that! Just not when we are around other people because I'm too cool for that...

Battling

It's been a fight to keep on top of it all at the moment but I think i've done well I'm battling some old demons and facing some new challenges it's all a massive life lesson and will make me a better person right? Also I like the way I'm editing at the moment... and my hair! Thank you for reading (All 7 off you!)


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